Chapter 489 This is a bonus chapter from the donations
I tend to overthink things.
On the other hand, Arta doesn't think at all.
So, when I pointed out this difference, Arta seemed to somewhat agree and nodded his head.
"To be precise, I don't think a lot. But that doesn't mean I'm dumb."
"No. To be honest, you're kind of an idiot."
"Wha-, what? Why am I an idiot?"
"Remember when you played hide-and-seek with Ellen and ended up hanging off a cliff before falling and breaking your leg?"
"Ah, no! When did that come up…?!"
Wasn't that more insane than idiotic?
I barely held back a retort as Arta's face turned red from the sudden reminder of his embarrassing past.
"No…! I did that because Ellen always won when we played games, and I wanted to win at something…!"
"Which is why you're an idiot. You might have actually died if Ellen hadn't found you hanging off the cliff. You went as far as dangling from a cliff just to win, and yet you still didn't win because Ellen found you."
"…"
Even as children, the members of the Rezaira family played spectacularly.
Like the one who would hang from a cliff just to win, and Ellen, who would find him through sheer determination.
"Anyway, there's no end to the accidents Arta has had since childhood. Most of them happened because he tried too hard to beat Ellen."
"Stop talking about the past…"
"Do you know what happened before?"
As Lena started talking, she became excited and began to recount Arta's accidents one after another.
The story of almost drowning in a river while holding his breath during a diving competition.
The story of climbing a tree to steal bird eggs, only to fall and crack his skull.
The story of trying to imitate Ellen's diving from the waterfall I used to frequent, but landing on his stomach instead of his head and passing out.
The story of swinging a wooden sword in anger after losing to Ellen in swordsmanship and fainting after hitting himself in a vital spot.
Listening to these stories, they were almost all about Ellen.
Even in his more ordinary days, Arta was an extraordinary character. Ellen won everything, so Arta tried desperately to beat her at something, only to end up hurting himself in the process.
It was quite a novel feeling to hear about Ellen's past from her childhood friends.
Even as a child, a genius was still a genius.
At the same time, I could sense the bittersweetness of having such a genius as a friend.
Of course, one's arm bends inward.
Just imagining young Ellen playing so boisterously with her friends made me feel a bit…
A bit…
Ticklish inside.
The always stoic Ellen hadn't always been that way, and I couldn't help but wonder what she was like back then.
It would have been cute, I bet.
But such thoughts only made me feel more depressed.
No matter how I thought about Ellen or how Ellen thought about me.
Our relationship could never return to how it used to be.
"Anyway, you've hurt yourself countless times trying to follow Ellen or trying to win against her. You should know when to stop."
"Stop… just stop…"
Depending on how you saw it, Ellen could be considered an unlucky childhood friend, but these two didn't seem to hold any resentment toward her.
"Arta really lives in the moment. He doesn't care about what might happen later; he just wants to beat Ellen and try everything she does, even if it means getting hurt in the process."
Arta could not refute Lena's dreadful declaration.
"You've always had a lot on your mind, Reinhardt."
A lot on his mind.
That was something Lena and Arta often told him.
A clear mind, calm disposition, and a tranquil attitude.
Maintaining these was becoming increasingly difficult.
It had been more than a month and a half since he left Edina.
He still had no idea when he would be able to leave this place with a satisfactory achievement.
A month from now? No way.
Two months? Or three months?
If he gave in to his anxiety and left Rezaira, he would never be able to return.
Now he knew Luna's intentions.
If he could not endure the anxiety and impatience, he would not be able to achieve his next goal. He had to overcome this situation and move on to the next stage.
Even if he managed to reach the master class, he would not be able to utilize his full strength if he lost to fear and terror in the final battle.
That's why Luna was training him.
If he couldn't maintain his calm in this situation, the inevitable would happen later.
No matter how impatient or anxious he was, he had to reach the next stage and make that power his own.
Thus, he was forced to spend anxious hours, cut off from all external information.
Nevertheless, his anxiety and fear only grew, never diminishing, due to the unknowns he faced.
So, although he could concentrate and achieve extreme refinement of his Magic Body Strengthening, it was difficult to acclimate to the environment due to the ever-increasing anxiety over time.
Having too many thoughts was the problem.
However, he couldn't stop thinking even if he wanted to.
It felt like hearing the saying "rice isn't the only thing in life when the throat is full of grape juice."
Telling him to calm down when he could barely breathe, as if it was that simple.
"In situations like this, shouldn't we act more like Arta?"
"…"
"There's no point worrying about next year's drought while harvesting this year's potatoes."
Lena's words were not wrong, and he knew as much.
"Thinking too much makes you worry about unnecessary things. So, why not temporarily forget about other matters and focus on what needs to be done?"
At those words, it seemed as if a light bulb had gone off in his head.
Many people had said the same thing to him.
At one point, he had said it himself.
After his first murder in Darkland.
Ellen, covered in blood, grabbed his face and stared straight into his eyes.
Telling him now was not the time to think.
Just do what needed to be done.
After the Gate incident, Harriet told him the same thing.
Now was not the time to think, just do what needed to be done.
He had thought the same way and tried to move forward one step at a time.
But now that he had left the responsibilities he should have borne, he had lost the mindset he had held up to this point.
Worrying about what might not happen, but could.
Feeling anxious about the very situation of being cut off from the outside world.
Despite knowing that it won't solve anything, he compulsively thinks.
Luna said his heart had become ill because he had endured too much for too long.
Lena said there was no need to think about things he didn't need to think about right now.
He didn't know whether Luna was right or Lena was right.
All he knew was that the anxiety and impatience he felt could not solve any of his problems.
Arta focused only on the task at hand.
His goal was to maintain his Magic Body Strengthening for an extended period of time, so he paid attention solely to that enhancement.
I should do the same.
Pondering how long it would take to grow accustomed to this power, what the situation outside would be like, and other such thoughts were all meaningless.
Worrying would not provide answers.
Only action.
Since only action could produce results, it was time to abandon fruitless concerns.
"Alright, I'll give it a try."
Inner peace.
Finding inner peace in a situation where it was possible held no meaning for me at this point.
Attaining inner peace even in circumstances where it should be impossible.
That was the clarity and unshakable resolve I needed.
——
Thinking that I shouldn't think.
The thought of not thinking was, in itself, a thought.
While it seemed like a nonsensical endeavor, I was actually doing it.
To stop thinking, one shouldn't think about not thinking but should genuinely stop thinking altogether.
However, for someone whose mind was about to explode with thoughts, the compulsion to stop thinking only induced anxiety.
And as I entertained such thoughts, I naturally began to ponder what I shouldn't be thinking about.
This led to a stage where I considered what thoughts I should avoid, only to return to the starting point of thinking that I shouldn't think about such things.
It was a Moebius strip of thought, driving me to the brink of insanity.
"Mother, how can I stop thinking?"
"…?"
I had a method in mind, and I intended to try it! Why not just teach me something, anything!
"Come with me somewhere tomorrow."
Was she finally going to teach me something?
——
The next day.
My hope that Luna would finally teach me something crumbled from the morning.
-Clang
I heard Luna rummaging around in the storage room.
"Take this."
She emerged with shovels, pickaxes, axes, and a lever.
"…Weren't you going to teach me swordsmanship or meditation?"
"I don't think I ever said that."
Luna took the shovel while I held the pickaxe, axe, and lever.
I silently followed behind her as she led the way.
Luna crossed the mountain ridge that marked the boundary of Rezaira and continued walking.
Our destination was another mountain ridge.
"We need to create new farmland. Prepare yourself for a long and arduous task."
"…Pardon?"
"You asked me how to stop thinking."
Luna gestured to the spot in the heart of the forest.
"Nothing is better for clearing your thoughts than a seemingly endless amount of work."
No way.
Is she seriously telling me to create new farmland?
Is this just a ploy?
"Start by cutting down the trees in the area and transporting them to the village. After that, we'll have to uproot everything."
Not only were we starting from bare ground, but we also had to turn a forest into farmland.
"But don't use any divine artifacts."
That's too much!
"Mother… is this really necessary?"
"Hmm…"
At my question, Luna crossed her arms, tilted her head slightly, and looked at me.
"If you keep calling me 'Mother' but don't actually act like a son, how can I treat you like one?"
"Ah."
Luna smiled at me.
"Son, get to work."
I had fallen for it.
——
So, Luna began to give me tasks while telling me to act like a son.
In the countryside, it was true that children were considered labor force, so I couldn't exactly deny her words.
Luna ordered me to work and left me in the forest on the outskirts of Rezaira before disappearing in a flash.
It wasn't just a grassy plain; it was a forest.
If I cut down all the trees in this forest and split them into firewood, I'd be providing all the wood Rezaira would need for the entire year.
Wasn't this about more than just creating new farmland? Wasn't she having me make new farmland while also producing a huge amount of wood?
On top of that, I wasn't allowed to use the divine artifact.
I looked at the forest before me, the axe, the pickaxe, the shovel, and the sled beside me.
I needed to cut down these trees, split them one by one, and carry them to Rezaira on the sled.
I had to cut down all the trees and somehow remove the roots.
Once that was done, I had to use the pickaxe to overturn the ground, removing all the remaining roots and preparing it for cultivation.
But could I finish all of this before winter arrived?
I shouldn't have run my mouth.
Now I might not be able to return to Edina within the year.
"Hmm…"
I had never cut down a tree with the divine artifact, and since Luna told me not to use it, I didn't intend to.
I picked up the axe, intending to start by cutting down the trees.
I had slain countless monsters, and though it was gruesome, I had even cut down people.
But naturally, I had never used an axe before.
I was going to cut down trees.
I knew it was a tough task, but who am I?
Without Magic Body Strengthening, I had a strength rating of over 26, A+ rank, and with Magic Body Strengthening, I could exert an S rank power or higher. I was a monster.
I didn't know whether this task would make me forget my worries and bring me a serene state of mind.
But I had to do something.
"Hooooo…"
I concentrated my mind and used my highly refined magic body strengthening.
I had more than enough strength.
The important thing was not just cutting down trees, but becoming familiar with precise magic body strengthening.
As I used my magic body strengthening in a highly concentrated state, I cut down the trees.
There were many trees.
I didn't know if I would become familiar with this power by the time I had cut down all these trees.
I took that first step.
With a quiet breath.
Amidst the gentle breeze and faint chirping of birds.
"Ha!"
I swung the axe at the tree.
-Crack!
It broke.
"Uh…?"
Not the tree, but the axe handle.