I Like the Messy Parts
“So, why did it have to come to that?”
Hearing the exchange between Ryuzaki and I, however, she did not seem to grasp the whole situation.
That’s understandable. I don’t think she could have grasped the whole situation just by listening to what we just talked about.
“Oh, Kotaro-kun, if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. It’s not that I want to force you to tell me or anything, I’m not trying to … pry, okay? But, um,… if you’re troubled, I’d like to be troubled with you.”
She said this as we sat in the park together sheltering from the rain.
“Well,… hey, is this kind of thing too heavy? I heard on TV that it is not good for a woman to want to know everything about her partner. Am I a bother to you, Kotaro-kun? If so, I want to fix it, so please be honest with me.”
Shiho is a bother?
No, no. Is there such a thing – or is there not such a thing?
Well, maybe some men, in general, don’t like being stalked or anything.
But I never once thought anything bad about Shiho’s behavior.
So I shook my head firmly.
“It’s okay. I can tell you really care about me, and I think you’re cute, even when you’re a … bother.”
This is my honest opinion.
I understand that Shiho has an act for me.
That’s why I know that Shiho does things that are often thought of as bothersome.
This is one of Shiho’s charms.
“…How cool! Kotaro-kun, when did you become such a great-looking guy? I’m so nervous, please don’t do that. I want a normal, reassuring Kotaro-kun!”
“… That’ll do.”
Did I look cool myself? I thought.
Shiho prefers me as I usually am rather than the heightened version of me.
“If you suddenly said that to me, my heart would beat too fast and I’d get exhausted, okay? I wonder if Kotaro-kun likes to make me suffer in agony.”
“I don’t mean to.”
Was she caught by surprise? Shiho, her face redder than usual, was scolding me as if she were giving me a lecture.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be careful next time, so calm down.”
“Ah, it’s fine if you apologize. I forgive you.”
Shiho easily forgave me when I broke down.
The part where she gets angry in embarrassment and loses her retreat because of it is … well, generally speaking, it is quite troublesome.
But when I apologize, she easily forgives me, and I don’t feel uncomfortable.
I have become completely accustomed to that kind of personality.
So-called, this part might be Shiho’s “bad side”.
However, I have come to find even this side of Shiho attractive, which is a strange thing.
I think my relationship with Shiho has grown that much deeper.
So, I think it’s time to … tell her about my past, too.
Come to think of it, I have never been very proactive about talking to Shiho about it.
I think I had a strong feeling that I didn’t want her to know.
No, no.
Rather than not wanting her to know, I didn’t want her to hate me.
I didn’t want to talk about my past with Shiho, who was single-minded and possessive.
But I felt sorry to Shiho to keep it hidden … forever.
This time, Ryuzaki’s case and my past are closely related, and it is just the right opportunity.
“So, can you tell me about your story with Ryuzaki-kun…?”
Shiho also wants to know.
“Yeah, okay. I want you to hear it, too.”
So I decided to tell her.
My past.
I told the story of those foolish days when I thought I could make other girls … happy, before I fell in love with Shiho.
I told the story of my middle school days, when I thought I was the protagonist…