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With Kaito lying on her lap, Illness is cleaning his ears. What Kaito had felt from Illness was that she was as calm as usual, making him think that he was the only one who was nervous in the current situation.
One of the reasons for this is his Sympathy Magic. Kaito, who can use Sympathy Magic, is able to read Illness’ emotions and he can sense if she feels anything……
There’s no mistaking that. In fact, Illness hasn’t done anything to suppress her magic power, nor has she intercepted Kaito’s Sympathy Magic, her emotions haven’t moved significantly.
However, being calm…… doesn’t necessarily mean one’s mind is serene. Currently, the biggest emotion in Illness’ heart is happiness, and Kaito had strongly felt emotions related to “joy” from Illness. However, on some occasions, the greater emotions would end up overshadowing the smaller ones.
(How should I say thiiiiis…… This feels straaaaaange. I had given Kaito-sama a lap pillow and am now cleaning his eaaaaars, so I’m supposed to be so happyyyyy…… but me feeling this strangely restless is troubliiiiiing.)
Yes, the biggest emotion she is feeling may be happiness, but she was also a bit shaken and nervous. No, as intelligent as she is, she understands her situation. And exactly because she understood that she felt confused.
(I suppose this too is a change huuuuuh. When I’m thiiiiiiis close to Kaito-sama, I feel my heart beating fasteeeeer…… This might be a different feeling from befoooooore. As my feelings of affection towards Kaito-sama grow strongeeeeer, it seems like the emotions I can’t completely suppress start to surface on their oooooown.)
While gently and carefully cleaning Kaito’s ear, Illness did indeed feel her heart beat faster. In the first place, the magazine that made her want to clean Kaito’s ears with him lying on her lap was also one that contained romance-related content, a type of magazine she had never seen before.
She could feel her mind was steadily changing, but she also seemed to be somewhat enjoying the change.
(I thought I’d lived a long tiiiiime, but there’s still so much I don’t knooooow. If the me Shalltear-sama described as empty sees me noooooow, I wonder what she’d feeeeeel?)
At least, there were so many emotions swirling in Illness’ heart that she could proudly say that she wasn’t empty anymore.
However, strangely…… Having learned more than before and expanded her outlook, there are also things she recalled in the past that became even more incomprehensible to her.
For Illness, this was the case with her current feelings.
(How troubliiiiiing. I couldn’t quite comprehend my feeliiiiings. Do I not want Kaito-sama to notice my rapidly beating heaaaart, or do I want him to notiiiiiiice? It’s certainly quite difficuuuuuult. It’s nooooooot a matter of which is the “correct answer”, but both of these feelings seeeeeems to be coexisting with my heart.)
Not wanting him to realize it, but still, wanting him to realize it. Though it may seem contradictory, strangely feeling like such an emotion was understandable, a smile of genuine happiness appeared on Illness’ lips.
(However, as for the answer to this feeliiiiiing…… If I stay by Kaito-sama’s siiiiiide, it feels like that answer might not be that far awaaaaaay. No~~ I may have already figured out aaaaaall the answers, but I just maaaaaay have been pretending not to notice it, turning my gaze awaaaaaay. Thinking that waaaaay, I may be surprisingly timiiiiiid…… Kuhihi, having lived for a long tiiiiime, I suppose realizing a new side of oneself even now might just be a happy thiiiiiing……)
Despite being perplexed by her changing feelings, Illness’ mind remained calm and she accepted the changes that were happening to her in a positive way.
After all, such changes…… for Illness, they were also given to her by her beloved Kaito……
[Afterword]
Serious-senpai: […………………]
? ? ?: [Senpai? ……[There is no response. It’s just granulated sugar.]]
Serious-senpai: [……Couldn’t you just…… use sugar in that reference?]
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